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Dear Bill, I've battled an eating disorder all my life. This has been a source of pain and embarrassment for me ever since I can remember. But with the help and patience of my wonderful therapist, I've learned to be happy with the person I am. I'm a 26 year old woman with a good job, my own home, and a lot to offer to the right man, but men won't even look at me twice because of my weight problem. What should I do? Please help me Bill! Signed, Big and Beautiful in Boston Dear Fat Ass in Mass, Get that fork out of your mouth every once in a while and maybe you'll lose some of that fat! Is that all you can think of is food? Instead of solving the problem you found some bleeding heart liberal therapist that suckered you into thinking that you're fine just the way you are, Bullshit! You're a Big Fat Pig and you know it! Get a life you Fat Ugly Bitch! Just the thought of a fat chick naked makes me want to puke! Glad I could help... Sincerely, Bill Dear Bill, My wife recently left me for another man. My heart is broken, and I don't know what to do or who to turn to. She was the love of my life. 8 years of marriage lost to a stranger in my bed. I'm falling apart Bill. Please tell me what I should do? Heartbroken in Hoboken Dear Jersey Chump, I bet you have a real small penis. If a woman can find a man with a good , thick slab of beef on him, she'll leave a pencil dick like you every time. To ease the pain I suggest drugs and alcohol. Excess is the key here. You've got to stay so wasted that you don't care about anything or anyone. Keep yourself focused on staying ripped. If that doesn't help, call that fat Bitch in Boston. She's so hard up that she'll probably accept you, small dick and all. Best of luck, Bill |
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